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About this Book
"Even
if life hasn’t always seemed fair to you, you do have another chance at
happiness, but only you can make it happen."
—from It’s Never Too Late to Be Happy
In
It’s Never Too Late to Be Happy: Reparenting Yourself for Happiness,
Muriel James, coauthor of the 4-million-copy best-seller Born to Win,
presents a clear, layman-friendly self-reparenting program through which the
reader can actually create a new internal parent—one which is fully
functional, supporting, encouraging, and loving—to replace the old parent
figure, whose negative psychological messages consistently thwart one’s
hopes for happiness.
In the
field of psychology, self-reparenting is
recognized as a highly effective strategy for pursuing happiness. Thousands
of people worldwide have used it successfully to discover what went wrong in
childhood and throughout their lives that restricted their freedom to
succeed and be happy to move from discontenment to happiness—reparenting
themselves for a fuller, happier life.
It’s
Never Too Late to Be Happy presents coherent,
straightforward insights into how personality is developed during a person’s
early years, how parents use and misuse the parenting skills that influence
personality, how children react to negative or inconsistent messages, and
many other issues that work together to prohibit both satisfaction and
happiness in later life. Combined with chapter by chapter self-analysis
exercises, these insights will lead any reader through the reparenting
process which will invariably lead to greatly increased happiness—at any
age.
Table of Contents
Chapter One: An Action Plan for Happiness 1
A Look Ahead 1
Defining the Word 2
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness 4
In the Beginning 5
Personality Perspectives 8
A Theory for Understanding Personality 9
Imagining a New Life 13
Complying, Rebelling, and Withdrawing Responses 14The Essence of Self-Reparenting
16
The Importance of Teachers, Mentors, and Coaches 17
Praise for Being You 18
Motivating Oneself for Self-Reparenting 19
Previewing the Action Plan 21
Getting Started 23
Discovery Tools 24
Chapter Two: Expanding Your Options 29
A Look Ahead 29
Longing for Something More 30
The Value of Dissatisfaction 31
The Desire for Liberty 32
Expanding Your Expectations for Success 34
More or Less at Home 36
Typical Parenting Styles 38
The Issue of Control 42
Discovery Tools 43
Chapter Three: Recognizing the Need for Self-Reparenting 49
A Look Ahead 49
Change Is a Process 50
Life as a Drama 51
Family Loyalty 54
The Internalized Parents 55e Parental Injunctions 57
Escaping from Injunctions 62
When Cultures Act as Parents 63
New Power for Change 65
Discovery Tools 66
Chapter Four: Learning to Be Happy 73
A Look Ahead 74
Creativity and Logical Thinking 74
Fieldwork on Parenting 76
The Three Ps in Parent Education 78
Teachers as Parents 80
A Curriculum for Parenting 82
Education in Feeling 84
Mad, Sad, Scared, or Happy? 86
Tough Love/Tender Love 90Learning Something New 91
Discovery Tools 92
Chapter Five: Listening to Yourself with Love 101
A Look Ahead 101
Born to Love 102
How Needs and Wants Are Adapted 103
""Nobody Loves Me"" 106
The Importance of Touch 107
Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child 109
Listening to Self-Talk 110
When There Are No Words 111
When Dialogue is Only Monologue 112
Needs and Wants Are Not the Same 113
Love Is Action 114
Listen with Love 117
Discovery Tools 118
Chapter Six: Discovering Your Powers 125
A Look Ahead 126
Happiness by Legislation 126
Steps to Personal Power 127
The Power of Hope 129
The Power of Will 131
The Power of Purpose 133
The Power of Competence 134
The Power of Fidelity 136
The Power of Love 137
The Power of Caring 140
The Power of Wisdom 141
Positive Values with the Loss of Power 143
Discovery Tools 145
Chapter Seven: Self-Contracting for Happiness 153
Trusting Yourself 154
Problems of Inconsistency 156
Planning for Change 157
Contracting Theory 158
Goal Setting for Success 159
Designing Specific Goals 161Time as a Basic Requirement 162
Energy and Motivation 163
The Need to Change Habits 164
The Cost of Change 165
The Possibility of Sabotage 166
Success Shows 168
When Others Judge 169
A FirstAid Kit for Emergencies 170
Discovery Tools 171
Chapter Eight: Celebrating Your Success 177
A Look Ahead 177
Life as a Movable Feast 178
Celebration Takes Many Forms 179
Losing the Energy to Celebrate 180
Deciding to Forgive 183
Laughter: The Medicine That Heals 185
Messages From Your New Parent, Coach, or Mentor 186
Discovery Tools 187
Selected Bibliography 193
Index 195
About the Author 298
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