Maybe she left you for a younger man. Maybe after 25 years you and your husband just drifted apart. Or maybe you are one of the tens of thousands who lost a spouse to illness or disease. Whatever the reason for your singleness, you’ve finally decided you don’t want to be alone.

You considered getting a dog but a golden retriever can only do so much. Sharing your life with a human is what you have in mind. You miss the comfort of companionship, someone who asks about your day. You want to celebrate your successes over dinner; you want to be needed and comforted in tough times. To feel the warmth of someone’s arm around your shoulder.

But there are issues to be dealt with. You’re not 25 anymore. Or even 45. There may be a few extra pounds. A bit less hair on top. Besides, you worry your children won’t understand if you begin dating again. And your neighbor says dating today is dangerous. And where to begin? Just finding a date seems nearly impossible.
Dating can be scary or awkward if you haven’t dated in a long time. But take comfort in the fact that you are not alone, there are more than 21 million single men and women over 50 in the United States today. And there’s more comfort available. In her new book, Dating After 50: Negotiating the Minefields of Midlife Romance, psychiatrist Sharon Romm walks the reader through the safest and most efficient way to find dates and to begin dating again.

Romm’s advice doesn’t end with the first or even the second date. Dr. Romm helps you negotiate the many aspects of an ensuing relationship. She offers sound advice on who pays for what, when to have sex, how to deal with jealousy, second families, former spouses, and a myriad of other issues common to later-life romances, including when to end the relationship when necessary.

Yes, negotiating the minefields of midlife romance can be scary and awkward, but it can also be exciting and rewarding. Remember Teddy Roosevelt’s advice to “dare mighty things” and dare to find the companionship you want.

Dating After 50: Negotiating the Minefields of Midlife Romance (Quill Driver Books, 216 pages, $12.95, ISBN 1-884956-39-4) is available at libraries and bookstores or direct from the publisher online at QuillDriverBooks.com or at 1-800-497-4909.